Monsters aren't afraid of the light....

I remember being so terribly scared of the dark when I was a child that my mother had to tell me The Three Bears story over and over until I went to sleep. There were times when the poor woman had to repeat that tale 20 times. If she attempted to slip out of the room before I was fast asleep she claims I would squeal like a banshee and she’d have to repeat the whole process again.
These are either ludicrously over-exaggerated claims or the woman has me mixed up with my older sister – people have always told me I was always a very pleasant child. But I do remember my poor, tired mother having to run repeatedly up and down the stairs to check wardrobes for monsters and under beds for gremlins.
I remember being asked to attend a sleepover at my friend’s house when I was a kid. My mother was reluctant to let me go, probably didn’t want some other unfortunate to have to endure the nightly routine of 150 very similar versions of the same Three Bears tale. But she let me go, with a parental advisory warning along the old ‘scared of the dark’ theme.
My friend’s parents were very religious and helpfully supplied a fancy nightlight they had purchased at Knock or Lourdes. It was a two-foot tall crucifix with Our Lord on it. The body of the crucified Jesus bathed that room in a gentle orange light, a plastic heart above his head pulsated with red light. My friend’s parents grew tired of the hysterical screaming at around 9pm and called my weary mother to take me home. If I wasn’t afraid of the dark before that night, I certainly was after.
Now it’s payback time. My middle son has a level seven fear of the dark.
It started maybe a year ago with Caolan waking in the night screaming about monsters. Our nights since have been peppered since then with visitations from the little man at our bedside wailing about monsters, vampires, ghosts and gremlins.
Most nights I have to rise from bed and accompany him back to his to reassure him that there is nothing more frightening than a fine selection of smelly socks under his bed.
The onset of these night terrors may or may not have been directly connected to the purchase of monster-themed curtains which were purchased at a half price sale at Dunelm Mill last year. There is no evidence to directly link the two, but let’s just say the purchase and the nightmares started within days, nay hours, of each other.
Secondary to this was the introduction of a large wardrobe into his room. Everybody who’s anybody knows that monsters hide in wardrobes during the day and pounce out when darkness falls. Everyone also knows that the size of the wardrobe is directly correlated to the size of the monster. And this is a huge wardrobe. I’d say it would comfortably house a gigantic monster, if not two large ones at a squeeze.
I bought him a nightlight but then there’s the darkness in the hall. We put on the hall light, but then there’s the advanced darkness on the stairs that the monsters can hide in. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him, if monsters are going to get him, a bit of light won’t put them off. Monsters are not one bit afraid of the light. They’re not like vampires. Vampires might explode into dust if you shine the hall light on them, monsters would just look at you with their big slobbering mouths, orange eyes and fangs and laugh at you for being so very silly.
We’ll just have to work on toughening the boy up.
I got over the fear of the dark thing many years ago although, truth be told, I still ensure all wardrobe doors are firmly shut to keep the monsters in and I still sprint into bed after switching off the light so that the gremlins don’t get me.