Did I get the job?

The youngest boy is hopefully heading for playschool this September and I have him booked in with a place near where we live.
I got a letter from them today asking him to come in for an ‘interview’ at the end of this week. An interview. With a three-year-old.
I can only imagine how this is going to pan out.
So Finn, could you explain to the panel your day-to-day responsibilities in your last role?
Yes, well, I worked in production, mostly of sandwiches with half a jar of jam in them. And also demolition. I concentrated mainly on electrical items and furniture. My day to day duties involved critical analysis of mostly Postman Pat in the morning, then a bit of Peppa Pig in the afternoon. If I was lucky there’d be a Fireman Sam marathon on that I could study for an hour then question my collegue, my mother, repeatedly on why Norman Price wasn’t given an ASBO. I used the time between programmes wisely by asking for biscuits and overflowing the sink in the bathroom. In the afternoon I’d torture my brothers by screaming that everything was mine and keep my sister from sleeping by making sporadic loud noises. I had sole responsibility for household aesthetics – mostly drawing on walls with marker and smearing yoghurt on sofas etc.
What major challenges and problems did you face?
Well, basically the ma and da. For example they were forever telling me not to eat dog biscuits. They were a real challenge, but I overcame this by hiding up the stairs with the canine confectionary and stashing it in my jean pockets.
Why are you resigning from your current position?
I’m resigned from my role as Professor Chaos within the O’Neill household because I am interested in a new challenge and an opportunity to use my skills and experience in a different capacity than I have in the past, in here. Do you know I can take a kitchen cabinet door off its hinges or cause a remote control to malfunction just by looking at it?
What is your greatest weakness?
I would say that I can be too much of a perfectionist in my work. Like sometimes I would spend an hour drawing on the wall in the living room. I just can’t leave that little stick man until he is perfectly formed, curly hair and all.
Sometimes, I spend more time than necessary on a task, or take on tasks personally that could easily be delegated to someone else – like getting my brothers to throw cushions all over the floor or fully unroll a toilet roll into the loo instead of myself. Although I've never missed a deadline, I suppose it is still an effort for me to know when to move on to the next task, and to be confident when assigning others work.
What is your greatest strength?
My time management skills are excellent. I get my mum up every morning at 6.33am on the button. I shout ‘Mum-meee!’ constantly until she lifts me out of bed. So you see I'm organized, efficient, and take pride in excelling at my work.
How would you describe yourself?
I'm a creative thinker. I like to explore alternative solutions to problems and have an open mind about what will work best. That and a curly-haired lunatic.
How do you handle stress in the workplace?
Stress is very important to me. With stress, I do the best possible job. The appropriate way to deal with stress is to make sure I have the correct balance between good stress and bad stress. I need good stress to stay motivated and productive. I also scream in a high-pitched tone until the cause of my stress ¬– be that the switching over of Fireman Sam or not being allowed to consume ice cream at 8am – is resolved.
Is there anything about the playschool that you’d like to know?
Are Custard Cream and pension schemes available? And also are you insured against breakages?