The budster

So I am severely allergic to our dog. That's him there looking like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.
I honestly thought that the wheezing, itching and sneezing was a natural reaction when faced with an animal who chews up your soft furnishings and clothes. I asked the doctor if contempt can manifest itself into an allergic reaction for I’ve been feeling kind of funny since the dog dragged my beautiful, brand new winter boots into the garden and chewed off their gloriously high heels.
I’m allergic to a lot of things it turns out – pollen, dust, getting out of bed, annoyingly cheery people. Ironically I think I’m allergic to Periton, the allergy cure. I usually take the tablets but one morning last week I couldn’t find them so I took a few big gulps from the bottle of the kid’s version that’s been in our bathroom cabinet since 2005. Then I drove to a meeting. A proper grown up meeting that required all present be reasonably alert, of rational mind and at the very least awake. I fell down on the last two categories, and almost fell down in reality.
I may have overdosed, it may well have been past if use by date but I think the last time I felt that jolly, that nicely drunk, was when an old friend of mine made poteen in his father’s shed in Carnhill, circa 1994. There was a bit of double vision, a bit of gentle swaying when standing upright, there were a few jibberish rantings, a bit of dramatic wincing when going outdoors and a lot of hiding behind sunglasses muttering stuff about going home to sleep this off.
Thank God the people I met where long-time clients of they may well have thought I was off my head.
I’ve told the husband that it’s either me or the dog, one of us has to be kept permanently outside. He says he’ll paint the kennel interior a nice lilac colour and stick up a few pictures to make it more homely for me….