Hey Santa!

The Christmas school holidays are over tomorrow and although it was great spending time with the kids, it’s like that old saying: ‘Kids are great but it’s great being able to hand them back’, like to the parenting experts – their school teachers.
Not that they aren’t glad to be going back also. A certain type of cabin fever sets in in the O’Neill house when we spend too much time together under the one roof – for example more than two hours. People start sniping and getting agitated, calling one another names, insulting each other’s appearance, pointing out annoying habits etc. And the kids can get a tad tetchy too.
The last two days Daniel and Caolan have spent the day sitting in their rooms, playing with their Santa toys and presumably writing letter of reply to Santa, noting their dissatisfaction at their lot this year.


Santa,
This is Daniel and Caolan O’Neill. I suppose you’re kinda wondering why we’re writing to you this late after Christmas. But I suppose you could take this as being an early warning for next year.
Well, we would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month. While filled with illusion we wrote you a letter asking for an Nintendo DS, A Wii and a PSP each. We positively destroyed our brains with school work the whole year. Not only was I, Daniel, the first in my class, but I had the best marks in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, Santa, there is not one single person in our entire neighbourhood that behaved better than me and my brother. Like no one.
Well, on Christmas morning we woke to the sound of toy trains chugging along a toy track. You totally disregarded our wish list and left us educational toys and things that look slightly second hand. We wanted a bloody Nintendo DS, A Wii and a PSP each. We wrote you three letters, told you in person twice. Do you even remember meeting us and making those promises. Were you infact drunk?
What were you thinking leaving us some books, a train set, a remote control car and a few random action figures? You are clearly senile. You are not welcome back next year, we’re blocking the chimney with the large lego blocks you left us. Get past that fatty!
You have taken us for fools the entire year. You gave that bad boy across the street a quad bike. Are you crazy? He was a maniac behind the wheel of that pedal tractor you got him last year. The people of this neighbourhood will never again be safe to walk the streets.
Don’t come back next year, you’re not welcome. You come to this house we’ll torch your sleigh and you’ll be walking back to the North Pole, just like we have to since you didn’t leave us those Lightning McQueen bikes we asked for.
Regards, well not really
Daniel and Caolan O