Anyone for cheddar apple crumble?

This week I will be mostly eating crunched up prawn crackers mixed with sweetcorn. The weird pregnancy cravings have kicked in this past few days and I have moved on from my strict Rice Crispy cereal and fizzy water only phase to something a tad more adventurous – sweetcorn.
Look away now nutritional experts, midwives and all other medical folk who are prone to lecturing on healthy eating, but I could happily survive on sweetcorn for breakfast, lunch and dinner – don’t worry I spice it up a little with aforementioned prawn crackers and even the odd handful of rice crispies when the mood takes me.
The past three times I was pregnant I did have very odd cravings and often horrified innocent passers-by with the food on my plate.
When I was expecting my oldest son I made apple crumble in the oven for lunch before heading off for an evening shift in the Irish News. When I took the steaming, delicious desert from the over I felt something was missing from the recipe so I melted mature cheddar cheese all over the top.
It was glorious. A layer of bubbling cheese, a layer of crispy crumble, steamy apples – mouth-watering. Unfortunately I spent a vast majority of that evening shift in the ladies loos being violently ill.
Cravings with the second pregnancy were completely normal, albeit a tad excessive. Let’s just say that profits at Thornton’s Chocolates, particularly in regards to the sale of white chocolate covered truffles, went stellar in 2004. I was actually tested for gestational diabetes; such was the level of sugar in my bloodstream.
While pregnant with my youngest child I craved the smell of Savlon disinfectant liquid. I honestly felt like I could not get through the day without smelling the stuff. I was a certified Savloholic.
Much like an alcoholic hides bottles of vodka around the house, I would stash travel-size bottles of Savlon in my handbag, drawers at work, in the car glove compartment. My husband had a time confiscating them all.
My office was beside a branch of Tescos and when I went AWOL from work he’d always find me in the cleaning product isles, gripping the shelves dramatically while enthusiastically sniffing my Savlon fix.
He actually told the midwife of my shameful habit and I was told off. So instead of sniffing it I washed every inch of our house – floors, furniture, curtains, the lot – with the stuff so I could smell it all day long.
It took a long time for the smell to clear. For months we walked into our home and straight into an eye-watering-strength wall of Savlon fumes. I can’t stand the stuff now.
Who knows what this pregnancy will bring. This time everything tastes really weird – toothpaste tastes like fish, chocolate takes like those rubber PE shoes you’re made to wear at school.
Perhaps I shall favour coal stew? Perhaps, like a lot of ladies, I shall fancy a dish of washing powder or even a plateful of muck. Or perhaps I’ll just stick with what I know – cheddar apple crumble.