The year 2010 will go down in my book as one of the toughest on record. I started the year without my father, after losing him to cancer just before Christmas. What with his illness and death, the recession, job losses, financial worries, grief, birth, sleep deprivation and everything that comes with a new baby the year was a total rollercoaster and, looking back, taught me a few things about myself, my family life and life in general.
There are a few words of wisdom I would like to bestow on my children about life, the universe and everything. I must do it through this newspaper – and pray that they will someday read this – as I am not permitted to hold serious conversations with my children that do not revolve around sharks and robot dolphins and who would fair better in an underwater altercation between the two.
I don’t profess to know it all but I’d say I’ve been down a few roads and, while there, took a few notes for future reference.
These are the lessons I want to teach my children.
Stop and smell the roses
One thing the last 12 months has taught me is that life is much too short. Life should not be spent worrying about material things and their attainment. Live should be lived and loved. Shake every fibre out of it and enjoy every single minute. Stop and smell the roses, appreciate the small stuff. Live well, laugh much and love often.
Money means nothing
At the end of our life we leave this earth with nothing. All that we fashioned, gained and accumulated in our lives is left behind. Love and memories linger, £10 notes do not. Chasing wealth ravages the soul. You’ll never have enough, never be satisfied with what you’ve got. You’ll always be working towards a bigger house, a bigger car. Be still, look around. If you’re standing tall and breathing air you have everything you need right here, right now.
Get tough
You may have scoffed when your Dad taught you to sword fight with the brush pole or trained you up Gladiator-style in the garden but the world is a tough place, kid and you have to be tough to survive. The main reason we haven’t been to Disneyland or bought you a DS yet is to build character and give you some manner of woeful story to tell about your traumatic Irish childhood.
Resiliency is the ability to properly navigate stress, major or minor, and then return to the business of living. Myself and your Dad will continue to ensure you have the tools to better deal with stress and trauma in a positive manner. We will also show you that we can face our dramas head on, deal with them and come out the other side in the hope that it will give you good armour for life’s ups and downs.
Family First
Not to get all Italian mafia on you but family must always come first. Children are a gift, appreciate them, spend time with them, and love them. They are only little once. Time waits for no one. Appreciate your mother and father, your grandparents. Loved ones are taken from us in a heartbeat. Don’t waste time squabbling or being preoccupied with other less worthy stuff.
Be happy
Don’t waste your time with envy. Work hard, have goals, be happy. Be happy in the here and now and have faith that your dreams will come true when they are ready, not one day before.
You are amazing
Never forget that you are a unique and brilliant individual. You have brought so much colour, laughter and joy to many lives, mine and your father’s especially. You are utterly amazing, remember that.
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