Miracle make-up

Our baby is either cutting teeth or in intensive training to be a sleep-deprivation torture specialist. I’m betting on the latter. In the past seven days I have had approximately four hours sleep. Not altogether in one long blissful slumber – more like ten minutes here, three seconds there, but it all adds up.
I am so excruciatingly tired I cannot think straight. I drove into the bright red and yellow barrier at the car park because the mush that was once my brain didn’t register that I had to furnish a machine with the ticket in my hand to bring it up. I imagine I thought it worked by magic or telepathy.
The husband immediately took over the driving telling me I was not to go near any form of machinery more advanced or dangerous than a vacuum cleaner until normal sleeping patterns resume.
Even though sleep is severely limited I still have to carry on my normal day-to-day activities as though firing from all cylinders. Regardless of how fall-down tired I am, I have to soldier on through the day getting kids out to school, picking them up, feeding them, washing them, clothing them, listening to demands, ignoring demands, registering complaints, disregarding complaints. It’s totally exhausting.
I have discovered, through the sleepy fog, an amazing invention just for mums. It’s not actually tailored for mums, more for those young, sassy types who like to party all night long and still look fabulous for their glamorous jobs in the morning, but hell it does the same job. It’s a make-up foundation that makes dog-tired skin look like you’ve had 10 hours sleep that turns scarecrows into stunners.
I kid you not this stuff must have been invented by God almighty himself.
I usually walk on by the make-up ladies in department stores – they are, after all, from another planet populated by beautifully orange-skinned people with drawn on eyebrows and I just cannot relate – but one showed me this make up and I will forever be in debt to the people of her planet. It’s called Bourjois 10- hour sleep effect foundation if you’re interested.
It’s been a good six years since I have had even seven hours sleep. And I have accepted the fact that 10 hours sleep is no more than a distant memory from my surly teenage years when rising before noon wasn’t cool. But this stuff will paper over the cracks until the kids leave home, probably in 40 years time.